Some children seem to like beating people when playing with their partners. Is this habit caused by the family environment? Why does a child have the propensity  for violence? How to deal with such behavior of a child?

加拿大著名的暴力行为研究专家特里姆布雷的最新研究结果显示：人类的暴力倾向通常在蹒跚学步的幼儿时期达到顶峰。

The latest findings of the famous Canadian expert on violence Trim Bray have showed that human’s propensity for violence usually comes to the peak when in early childhood.

幸运的是，这个时期的幼儿尚不能给人造成太大的危害，但需要陪护人及时帮助他们控制愤怒情绪，若待长大成人再想帮助他们，恐怕为时已晚。因此，请及早纠正孩子的暴力习惯。

Fortunately, children of this period still can not do much harm to other people. But adults need to help them control their anger in time, for it will be too late to help when they grow up. Therefore, children's violent habits should be corrected early.

首先我们要了解孩子暴力的原因。

First, we need to understand the reasons for a child’s violent behaviour.

1、暴力是孩子自卫的一种方式

孩子打人有时是出于一种自卫或是其他合理的原因。可能是因为他人先发动了攻击，而他只是全力维护自己的利益，这是一种本能。

1、Self-defense

Sometimes, beating others is out of a child’s self-defense or out of some other reasonable reasons. Probably because someone else attacks the child first, and he or she just wants to safeguard his or her own interests, which is a kind of instinct.

2、语言表达贫乏

这个时期孩子语言表达能力有限，无法和他人建立有效的沟通，所以他选择咬或是打人，来发泄自己的情绪。

2、Poor language ability

During this period, a child is very poor in language skills, not being able to establish an effective communication with others, so he or she may choose to bite or hit others, so as to vent his or her emotions.

3、环境影响

孩子天生具有超强的模仿能力，借此认识世界。如果家中成人长期吵架、打架或对孩子施行语言和肢体的暴力，以及让孩子观看和暴力有关的动画片与电影，都会让孩子在模仿中变得暴力。

3、Environmental influence

Children are born with superior ability to imitate whereby they learn to know the  world. If adults in a family often quarrel or fight with each other, or even commit  language and physical violence to children, or let children watch cartoons and movies that have violent contents, children will become violent in imitation.

成人应该如何应对呢? What should adults do?

关爱是根本

成人应首先给予孩子最基本的爱，体现在日常生活中就是满足、理解和尊重孩子的情感需要。只有让孩子体验到父母之爱的温暖，孩子才有意识和理念去爱他人和外物。

Give your child the most basic love

Adults should first give children the most basic love, which is reflected in meeting, understanding and respecting children's emotional needs in everyday life. Only  when children experience the warmth of parents’ love will they have a sense to love other people and the things around them.

培养对他人和事物的爱心

当家庭中有人身体不舒服时，可教育孩子去表示关心; 公园游玩时，孩子看见美丽的花就想采摘下来，这时应制止孩子的行为并说明理由。培养孩子的爱惜之心，从而在心理上防止和克服孩子暴力倾向的形成。

Build your child’s sense of caring for people and other things

When someone in the family is not feeling well, you can ask your child to show his or her concern; when playing in a park, if your child wants to pick the beautiful  flowers, you should stop him or her and explain the reasons. Building children’s sense of care can mentally prevent and overcome the tendency of violence of children.

教导正确的交往策略

多数孩子的攻击行为都属于一时冲动的类型，其实心中是渴望友谊的，只是不知道如何与他人和睦相处。这种时候，成人应及时教给孩子良好的人际交往技巧，以及通过何种方式化解困境。

Teach your child the correct communication skills

Most of children's aggressive behaviors belong to impulsive type. In fact, children are all long for friendship in mind, and they just do not know how to get along well with others. So adults should teach children the correct interpersonal skills and the means to resolve dilemmas.

控制情绪

情绪在人的心理变化中起着核心作用。孩子尚没有学会如何控制情绪，因此成人应帮助孩子逐步战胜情感冲动，使孩子有稳定的情绪，能与周围环境相适应融合。

Help your child control his or her emotions

Emotion plays a central role in people's psychological changes. Children have not learned how to control their emotions, therefore, adults should help them gradually overcome their emotional impulses, so that they have a stable emotion and are  able to adapt to the surrounding environment.

心理学研究表明，群体环境和集体活动最有利于培养孩子的合作精神，成人可多创造这样的环境，让孩子学会忍耐宽容，加强自我约束力和控制情绪的能力。

A psychological research shows that group environment and activities are most conducive to cultivate children's spirit of cooperation. Adults should create more such circumstances, so that children can learn to be tolerant, patient, self-disciplined and self-controlled.

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